10. Loud Music
The book of Revelation is pretty clear—there will be LOUD worship in heaven. Of course, we understand there’s probably a difference between the church youth band rocking out and the voices of angels, but still.
9. People Using iPads Instead of “Real” Bibles
We get it, who’s gonna make sure they’re not checking Facebook during the sermon? Although, to be real for a second—God’s Word is God’s Word, whether it’s read on an iPad or in a 4-inch thick King Jimmie Bible.
8. Coffee in the Sanctuary
Let’s be clear: having a cup of joe in the sanctuary doesn’t defile anything or anyone—we’re not in the Temple era anymore, right? Jesus lives in us—not on stage in our churches. Although, we do understand it can be messy
7. Youth Group Attire
OK, this one probably has some credibility. Although, if we’re calling out high school students for the way they dress, we should probably do the same for mom jeans. Just an idea.
6. Long Sermons
We shouldn’t complain, really. I mean, the Apostle Paul preached so long people were falling out of windows. Plus, it’s kind of what we’re there for (OK, that and worship and community and serving…)
5. Church Parking Lots
For some reason, the message on the Beatitudes gets chucked out the window when we hit the church parking lot. We’re all like, “Yes, the meek shall inher- … hold on, is he trying to get in front of me?! I don’t think so!” Not that I’ve ever said that personally
4. Pastors Asking for Money
OK, we’re not talking about your huckster money-laundering televanglist here, but your everyday pastor talking about moula. This shouldn’t get us riled up, seriously. The Bible talks about money A LOT. The way we use our money says a great deal about our faith—whoops, sorry, started to preach on that one.
3. Women in Leadership
There are some pretty stellar examples of women leaders in the Bible. It shouldn’t surprise us to see a woman lead in the church today.
2. Overly Happy Greeters
Some church greeters are just waaaaayy too happy. This is church. We’re not in heaven yet. Save some for the after party.
1. The Much-Feared Meet-n-Greet
“Hi, how are you? Yes, I’m fluent in awkward as well.” OK, this shouldn’t be a big deal, really. After all, we’re going to spend eternity with these people sitting in front and in back of us. Might as well get to know ‘em now.
Written by Brian Orme.